5 Literary Villains That Would Make a Better President Than Donald Trump

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On November 8, 2016, the fate of America – and perhaps the world – will be decided in what is possibly the most important, and least appealing, Presidential vote in our lifetimes. Although Hilary Clinton is proving to be one of the least popular candidates ever (and with good reason), it’s fair to say that, when compared with Donald J. Trump, she is undoubtedly the lesser of two evils.

To make my point, I’ve selected 5 of the most despicable literary villains that I can think of and have argued that every single one of them would make a better President than Donald Trump.

1. Petyr Baelish, from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series and HBO’s Game of Thrones 

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Why He Would Make a Better President than Trump:

Petyr Baelish, better known as ‘Littlefinger’, is one of the craftiest and most calculating characters in Westeros. However, unlike Trump, he knows how to talk to people and get them to do what he wants. Plus, he managed to do wonders for Kings Landing’s economy while he was Master of Coin (even if most of the growth came from his brothels!). He might be a truly terrible human being with a fondness for throwing people out of the Moon Door, but you know he’s bound to come out on top in the political arena, even if he can’t wield a sword to save his life.

2. Count Dracula, from Dracula by Bram Stoker

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Why He Would Make a Better President than Trump:

Like Trump, he’s mocked for his strange appearance and probably shouldn’t spend any more time in the sun, but unlike Trump, Dracula’s actually not such a bad guy: he’s intelligent, well-cultured, and has managed not to lose his fortune despite being alive for centuries. Plus, he treats his foreign guests with respect and offers them hospitality. He just likes his meat on the rare side is all!

3. Dolores Umbridge, from J.K. Rowling’s (and Warner Bros.’) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

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Why She Would Make a Better President than Trump:

Even though she corrupted wizarding law to persecute innocent Muggle-borns, took clear pleasure in torturing children and spent an entire year not teaching her students Defence Against the Dark Arts, she at least had the good manners to cough before interrupting someone.

4. Coriolanus Snow, from Suzanne Collins’ (and Lionsgate’s) Hunger Games trilogy

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Why He Would Make a Better President than Trump:

Being prepared to drink poison to ensure the downfall of your enemies isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, but it does at least show commitment. Plus, it’s important to point out that Snow actually knows how to run a country, or at least Panem… plus he’s media-savvy (I mean, he managed to turn the ritual slaughter of his citizens into a popular TV franchise, and that takes skill) and has excellent taste in flowers.

5. Satan, from Paradise Lost by John Milton

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Why He Would Make a Better President than Trump:

…because he’s so smooth he made Jesus look bad. If you’re going to lure America into evil, you’d better have a more convincing argument than “we need to start winning again!”

Can you think of any literary villains you’d rather see in the Oval Office than the Orange Anomaly? Let me know in the comments below!

(Images: HBO, Politico, WB Studios, Lionsgate, Wikipedia)

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And the Award Goes to… #2 (some further suggestions)

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Quillies

OK, I’m going to pick up where I left off last time, so if you’re unfamiliar with this string of posts, please click here to catch up 🙂

You’ve made some wonderful suggestions, and so I thought I’d propose nominations to a few of the categories that have been put forward…

Enjoy! And, as always, feel free to chip in with your own ideas in the comments section…

 


 

Best AI Character

Miss Hadaly – in Tomorrow’s Eve by J.M. Villiers de l’Isle-Adam

The Minds – in the Culture series by Iain M. Banks

Major Motoko Kusanagi’s ghost – in Ghost in the Shell by Masamune Shirow

HAL – in 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

 

Best Animal Character

Fiver the Rabbit – in Watership Down by Richard Adams

The Cat in the Hat – in The Cat in the Hat  by Dr Seuss

Pantalaimon the Dæmon – in the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman

Iorek Byrnison the Panserbjørn (Armoured Ice Bear) – also in the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman

Character We All Secretly Would Like To Be

The Wart, in T.H. White’s The Sword in the Stone (nomination by Jon that I completely agree with!)

Hermione Granger – in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Lucy Pevensie – in the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis

Alice – in Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

 

Most Unexpected Plot Twist

The beheading of Ned Stark – in A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

The capture and turning of Winston Smith – in 1984 by George Orwell

The death of Albus Dumbledore – in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

The death of Emma Morley – One Day by David Nicholls

The revelation that Mad-Eye Moody is, in fact, Barty Crouch Jnr., disguised by Polyjuice Potion – in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

 

Most Frustrating Ending

A countdown that never reaches its climax (at the time, I didn’t know more books were coming!) – in Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

A writer who gave up on a wonderful series due to fan pressure. Such a shame. – The Dark Tower by Stephen King

What utter nonsense! – Breaking Dawn (well, actually, all of them, but my sister promised me a war in this book I just didn’t get! Grrrr…) by Stephanie Meyer

You’re left waiting for an ending that never comes. – in The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon

 

Best Couple

Alobar and Kudra – in Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins

Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy – in Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark – in The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins

 

Best Book-to-Film Adaptation

The Lord of the Rings trilogy, directed by Peter Jackson – originally The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Bladerunner, directed by Ridley Scott – originally Can Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick

The Godfather trilogy directed by Frank Coppola – originally The Godfather by Mario Puzo

Requiem for a Dream directed by Darren Aronofsky – originally Requiem for a Dream by Hubert Selby Jnr.

Stand By Me directed by Rob Reiner – originally ‘The Body’ by Stephen King

 

Most Epic Death

Robb Stark, Talisa Stark, Catelyn Stark, Grey Wind, and various banner-men, during the ‘Red Wedding’ – in A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

Gandalf the Grey – in The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien

Cecilia – in The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides

 

Best Fictional Technology

The ‘Stone’, the ‘Axis City’, just… everything – in Eon by Greg Bear

The everlasting goods introduced by the aliens, such as the ‘Forever-Car’ – in Ring Around the Sun by Clifford D. Simak

The ‘Point of View’ gun, the ‘Infinite Improbability Drive’, the ‘Babelfish’… again, pretty much everything – in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

The ‘Intercision’ device – in Northern Lights by Philip Pullman


Which other awards, or nominations, do you think should be included?
Let me know in the comments box below! 🙂

 

 

And the Award Goes To… (Ceremonies We Need To See!)

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Quillies

Sorry for the lack of posts – my health has been on the wrong side of average far more often than I would like lately…

I was just having a nose around online, and came across a jokey little post about why there should be a big, hyped-up awards ceremony for books, like there are for films and music (The Oscars, the Academy Awards, etc.). I mean, of course, there are prestigious awards such as the Booker, Orange shortlist, etc., but none which actually focus on the characters and storylines instead of the authors. Don’t get me wrong – there can never be enough credit for the authors! – but I found the idea of an awards ceremony for our favourite books, characters, etc. really quite charming.

So, I’ve posted each category they came up with, along with a couple of others I came up with myself. I’d be really interested to hear your own ideas – feel free to post on your own blog, or propose ideas in the comments section below. No restrictions – feel free to include graphic novels, foreign literature, whatever you like!


Best Male Character

Winston Smith, from 1984 – George Orwell

Atticus Finch, from To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee

Albus Dumbledore, from the Harry Potter series – J.K. Rowling

Harry Paget Flashman, from Flashman – George Macdonald Fraser

Achmed the Mad, from the Discworld series – Terry Prachett

Sherlock Holmes, from various novels – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Phillip Marlowe, from various novels – Raymond Chandler

 

Best Female Character

Major Motoko Kusanagi, from the Ghost in the Shell – by Masamune Shirow

Katniss Everdeen, from The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins

Arya Stark, from the Game of Thrones series – George R.R. Martin

Lyra Belacqua, from the His Dark Materials trilogy – Phillip Pullman

Lisbeth Salander, from the Millennium trilogy – Stieg Larsson

 

Best Antagonist and/or Villain

Patrick Bateman, from American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis

Randall Flagg, from various novels – Stephen King

The Cheshire Cat, from Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

Tom Ripley, from The Talented Mr Ripley – Patricia Highsmith

Hannibal Lecter, from various books – Thomas Harris

 

Most Impressive New/Future/Past World

Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood

EON – Greg Bear

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

1984 – George Orwell

 

Wittiest Dialogue

Catch-22 – Joseph Heller

The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde

Vox – Nicholson Baker

‘They’re Made out of Meat’ – Terry Bisson

 


What other awards do you think should be included? What about:

Best Plot Twist?

Best Sequel?

Book Thrown Across the Room the Hardest?

Book Most Likely to be Locked in the Freezer for Being Too Scary?