Discovering ‘Literary Starbucks’…


literary starbucks.jpg

Recently, I came across a blog that made me laugh out loud – the Tumblr site, known as ‘Literary Starbucks’, basically imagines the literary greats coming in to order a coffee.

Some of the entries are odd, sad, or downright laughable, but all act as a sort of love letter to the author/theorist/other famous person of choice.

I’ve added a few of my favourites below.

Why not add one of your own in the comments section? I’d love to hear from you!



Michel Foucault goes up to the counter and orders an iced coffee. Is his choice a product of his past or his present? Aren’t we all just at the whim of the power structures that control our society? Should we abandon this Starbucks and take control of our own beverages? What do we know about coffee? What do any of us know about anything? The barista, not surprisingly, quits her job.


Tolstoy stumbles up to the counter, clutching a ragged, grey blanket around his shoulders. “Is it cold in here?” he stammers. “I feel like it’s cold in here.” The barista, too, is shivering. He offers Tolstoy a small cup of hot coffee. Snow drifts into the shop from the street. The barista nestles against the counter to conserve warmth. Tolstoy decides that the only way to survive is to leave the Starbucks and the barista behind. He wanders for what seems like an eternity, but he is still no closer to the door. The barista calls out to him. Tolstoy fights his way through the snow back to his barista, and they huddle together as they succumb to hypothermia.

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss cheerfully goes up to the counter.
He orders a frosty fluff iced tea flan flouter.
He stays very still
His drink remains chilled
He waits (very patient) for his cup to be filled.
He calls to the shop, “I speak for the teas, for the teas have no tongues.
“And I’m asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs,
“Why is my cup taking so long to fill?
“I’ve been standing here, waiting, with my five-dollar bill.”
And finally, after a long, quiet pause,
He lets out a series of hearty guffaws.
“I’m sorry, good sir,”
He cries out with a smile,
“It’s totally fine my drink’s taking a while.
“I’ll stand here and read, wearing nothing but tweed,
“And I know that my drink will be done with great speed.”
He stands and he waits,
And he waits,
And he waits,
And finally, now it’s a quarter to eight,
He hears the barista call out, “Theodore!”
Dr. Seuss stands up and goes for the door.
The barista calls out, “Good sir, here’s your drink!”
Dr. Seuss turns around and tries hard to think.
“I’m so sorry again,” he says with a smile,
“It’s just I’d forgotten my surname was Geisel.”


Achilles goes up to the counter, oozing confidence. He orders two venti caramel macchiatos. “That’s a lot of coffee,” says the barista. “Are you sure you can handle it?” “Of course!” cries Achilles. “I’m practically immortal!” He gets the drinks and begins to walk out of the store. He trips over the threshold, and a little bit of the scalding hot coffee spills down the back of his leg. He dies immediately.


Roald Dahl goes up to the counter and orders a grande hot chocolate and a tall peach green tea. He offers the foxy barista a piece of gum. She takes it and promptly turns into a blueberry. He leaves the shop and walks down the street with his extraordinarily tall companion.


Arthur Miller goes up to the counter and orders a venti coffee black, no cream or sugar. He sits down in the corner and drinks it slowly. By the time he’s finished, he has failed as a husband, a father, a man, and an American.


Hamlet goes up to the counter and can’t decide what to order.


Wordsworth goes up to the counter and orders a smoothie. It reminds him of a lake he visited once as a child. Then again, so do most things.


Austen goes up to the counter and orders a cinnamon spice latte. The barista is a bore. The man behind her in line orders exactly what she orders; he too is a bore. He is handsome in the conventional sense, but there is no chance they could ever be married.

View the ‘Literary Starbucks’ Tumblr here:

(Image: Literary Starbucks)



Banned Books Week: Recommended Reads #8, #9 & #10 (Young Readers’ Edition)



As some of you might already be aware, this week (21st – 27th September 2014) is Banned Books Week. Held annually (usually in the last week of September), this event celebrates our freedom to read and to express ideas, even those books which are considered by some to be unorthodox, offensive and/or unpopular.

To mark this occasion, I thought it would be appropriate to spend some time this week taking a look at a few of the most important, influential, beautiful, and controversial books that, at some point in history, have been banned. My intent here is not necessarily to endorse these books (although, there are some on this list that I believe everyone should read at some point in their lives), but to simply celebrate the fact that we now live in a world where books no longer need to be burned. After all, as Mary Jo Godwin once said, “a truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone”.

All of the banned books I have considered so far have really been aimed at an adult-only audience, so I thought I would dedicate this post to looking at content for all the younger readers out there. I know what you’re thinking – who would ban a kid’s book?! The sad truth is that numerous children’s titles feature on the Banned Books list, though the justification for this in many cases is poor.

This is actually something I feel quite strongly about. As a child, I was an avid reader, and was always looking outside my comfort zone for new material – aged 11, I fought (with the assistance of my mother) for the right to own an adult library card, and thus to read whatever I liked, instead of being limited by what the school thought was ‘age appropriate’. I found the idea that books were ‘unsuitable’ for my young, malleable mind illogical and, frankly, quite insulting!

I think adolescence is the perfect time for exploration and new discoveries, as it offers youngsters the opportunity to see the world from different perspectives… that doesn’t mean that they’re going to freak out if they read something challenging, or difficult, or sad. I believe that by limiting the reading material, you are effectively limiting the child.

OK, OK, rant over… I’ll pop my soapbox away! Let’s move on to my eighth, ninth and tenth considerations of the week so far…

Book #8: The Lorax, by Dr Seuss


The Lorax
is a whimsical little story about a woodland creature, named the Lorax, who lives among the trees. The Once-ler, another little creature in the forest, cuts down trees and uses them for multiple uses. The Lorax quickly realises that the Once-ler is killing the forest, and so persuades him to stop cutting down trees. The End. Sounds like a cutesy, sweet little story with a happy ending, right? So, why oh why would anyone want to ban it?

Well, California didn’t agree. As home of the one of the largest logging industries in the world, certain Californians did not take kindly to The Lorax portraying the foresting industry in an arguably negative way. They felt that this book could potentially persuade children that the logging industry was a bad thing. In the face of increasing worries regarding climate change and the future of our great planet, I would argue that perhaps the children should see logging as a bad thing. After all, until you see a problem, you’re not likely to start thinking about a solution, are you? The sooner we realise that the rate that we are cutting down trees is not sustainable – I know that more trees are planted to compensate for those cut down, but these take too long to grow to full size for the damage done to truly be offset – the sooner we are likely to think of another way of doing things; a better way. If the children are our future, then shouldn’t we let the harsh reality that Earth’s days are numbered start to sink in now?

If you’re not familiar with Dr Seuss, they’re wonderful for younger children. I still keep a book of tales on my shelf, and look back on them with love.

Book #9
(although, technically, this is a series encompassing 7 books…
but let’s not get fussy!):
The Harry Potter Series, by J.K. Rowling


Yes, I’m serious – Harry Potter, the highest selling children’s books series of all time, was banned throughout America. Why? Well, amongst other reasons, a number of religious groups claimed that the fantasy series about young wizards promoted occultism and paganism, thereby undermining Christian values.

For me, this makes no sense at all. Yes, it’s a fantasy book, and so it contains wizards, dragons, and magic. It also contains one of the strongest examples in recent times of a story where love conquers evil, friendship endures through tragedy, and the good guy wins in the end. We haven’t had a story of such archetypal strength, arguably, since Star Wars! There is a very good reason why adults love these books just as much as the children do.

In literary circles, Rowling is scorned – something which, I’m now ashamed to admit, kept me from reading these books initially (thinking that they were “just for kids”) – and looked down on for her frequent mentioning of candles, stone walls, and stairs, as if somehow this is not ‘creative’ enough. Well – Hogwarts is a castle, what did you expect? Is the language of magic not intriguing (the spells and incantations, the ingredients, the curses, the fairy tales)? Are you not fascinated by the world that she has created; one that could exist beneath the very noses of Muggles like us? I challenge anyone to read these books and not have their inner child cry out to visit Diagon Alley, eat a Chocolate Frog, or ride on a Nimbus 2000.

I actually think (now that I’ve put my intellectual snobbery aside) that the books are actually rather well-written – the storyline is ripe with twists and turns that constantly keep you guessing, you fall in love with the characters right from the start, and there’s not a single loose end left over when you reach the final page. Not many authors can claim such workmanship. The idea that anyone would want to ban these books makes me sad.

If you’ve never read it – whether you’re 4, 14, or 40 – I would thoroughly recommend that you give it a chance. That’s all I ask. You won’t regret it (although, you might need a box of tissues handy, just in case).

Book #10: Winnie the Pooh, by A.A. Milne


Winnie the Pooh is another childhood favourite: I look back on Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore, Owl, Kanga and Roo as old playmates. I can’t quite imagine my childhood without them. However, this classic has been banned in a variety of countries at different points throughout history, including Russia, China, Turkey, and even England and the United States.

So, why would anyone want to ban such a seemingly harmless and charming story about a group of talking animals? Well, in some cases, the very fact that they were talking animals was grounds for an issue – creating such a thing was considered an ‘insult to God’. Piglet came under fire from certain Muslim groups, who claimed that the character was offensive to them (as Piglet is, of course, a pig – an animal considered unclean by the Muslim faith). In the case of the banning in Russia, it occurred because the book had ‘alleged Nazi ties’ (in truth, the ban was based on a single person who was found to own a picture of a swastika-adorned Pooh… apparently, this one case was evidence enough for Russia that Winnie the Pooh was pro-Nazi, and therefore anti-Russia).

In short, all of the bans are pretty absurd. This book teaches the importance of kindness to others, tolerance of those who are different to you, and sticking together through tough times. In my eyes, that’s exactly what children should be being taught. If you’re unfamiliar with Pooh and the gang, I would suggest getting acquainted, especially if you have little ones around – they’ll love both the drawings and the stories!

(Images: Amazon)

Want more information on Banned Books Week 2014?